I understand your struggle because many of us have the same struggle. We are told and shown from childhood by all the people who love and care for us, as well as the institutions of the Church and government, and society as a whole, that who we are, who God created us to be, is wrong.  Know that God Himself is with you and loves you and Christ will love and take care of you and bless you as long as you stay close to Him.
You will be in my prayers. Please stay in touch.
Andriy

Thank you for your comment. I would advise that you read my reflection from 2011 entitled “Choosing and Ignoring Scripture”. Christians, and certainly the Orthodox Church have re-interpreted, ignored, forgotten, changed and emphasized various Scriptural passages since the Bible was “collected”. Perhaps the most egregious example from the recent past would be the defense of slavery by numerous Christians. They based their arguments on “God’s laws” which they found and interpreted in the Bible. Who is preaching against women cutting their hair, or eating pork or working on the Sabbath to support a family – why are those laws of God forgotten or ignored while a few passages in Scripture which MIGHT suggest anti-homosexual relations are emphasized? Finally, if God was so against gay people, why did His Son, our Lord, say nothing about us? If it were so important, one would think that Jesus Himself would have told us so.
Andriy