Comments on: Bullying and the Orthodox Church

By: Noel Warren

Noel Warren — Mon, 01 Apr 2013 02:42:37 +0000

Happy Easter from the Anglican side of the fence!! A little early for you I know.
I recently saw a photo on facebook of Darth Vader in the vestments of the Russian Patriarch. Fair comment or not? The supreme bully I would have thought as well as one who betrayed his Jeddai heritage and went over to the Dark side.
If you are not out to your family and church friends then coming out to your priest alone puts you in a vulnarable position. Take a couple of friends along. Be firm and friendly but never retract anything. Stand your ground. God loves you just as you are. If the priest bullies you, get an older mentor to go and immediately confront him about his behaviour. It is not accetable undr any circumstances. Sorry I am in Australia, otherwise I would come with you.
Lots of Love, Noel.

By: andre

andre — Thu, 21 Mar 2013 14:10:06 +0000

In reply to Anonymous.

Hello and thank you for your email and your support. What you have experienced is what many of us have, unfortunately. I hope that things are getting a little better with awareness.
Most priests would not be suspicious of you just because you are single at a certain age – but there are nosy priests or those with vivid imaginations.
There are supportive priests – although they are few and far between – or remain very guarded with their support. Of course I believe that Orthodox spirituality is beautiful -but you would have to see and experience for yourself. You can also attend services and avoid “coffee hour” – that is when the questions and issues might arise.
I wish you well, and all of God’s graces.
Andriy

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Wed, 20 Mar 2013 05:19:33 +0000

Sadly, your post confirms that bullying is alive and well.
Oh, how what hellish years I had to go through in school: mostly from students, but some of it also came from teachers, at least tacitly so.

As to the Church, well, it’s downright dispiriting.
I’ve been exploring Orthodox spirituality for a while, attending a couple of churches regularly.
What if a priest found out I’m still single at my age: wouldn’t that in and of itself arouse his suspicion?
Does it mean Orthodox spirituality is out of bounds for me?

I’m both angry and outraged and depressed , maybe not clinically, but extremely saddened.
Any advice?

By: andre

andre — Wed, 20 Mar 2013 01:45:28 +0000

In reply to Antoinette Herrera.

Antoinette,
Thank you for your email and kind remarks about the latest reflection. I think that you are right to be cautious. I have had a few emails within the last few months from people who came out to their priest with less than great results. One priest banned them from communion, another refused to christmate the person (a potential convert) unless they left their same-sex spouse and one has received the cold shoulder since discussing the issue with the priest. The truth is that most Orthodox priests are either ill equipped (educationally) or afraid to deal with the issue. I am not telling you to avoid speaking with your priest – but be careful. You may want to try and gauge his reaction by speaking in generalities.

You remain in my prayers.
Be well and at peace,
Andriy

By: Antoinette Herrera

Antoinette Herrera — Mon, 18 Mar 2013 23:24:34 +0000

Dear Father Andriy,

thank you for this article. Coming as it does–at the top of Lent–it’s a very timely one.

I have wrangled for some time with the idea of coming out to my parish priest. But I can’t help but think that Father XXX would probably advise me to remain celibate, or insist that if I do get involved with anyone, that it be a man, and that the relationship lead to marriage.
Thank you for your prayers. You are in mine. Be well.