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I cannot imagine what is must be like to live in a place such as Palestine and have same-sex attractions. So many of us in the United States have felt as if we were the only ones with such feelings while we were still closeted. As we came out, we came to see that the reality of this was quite different. I hope that is your experience too if and when you decide to come out.
While i am not a priest, i am a psychologist. I am also a gay man. From both a personal and a professional standpoint, i think your only real choices are to deny who you are to yourself and continue to feel guilt and shame OR to accept who you are, live your life, and find that over time the guilt and shame lessens, then eventually becomes replaced with a sense of peace and love.
God was with me through my entire process of self-acceptance. I trust that God will be with you too.

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