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Hi James. Thank you for posting this interesting thread and I would like to discuss it with you and other people around here.
However I’m not completely sure what you mean by “orthodox gay ethic” especially in the context of the Gospel passage you quoted. I think that the main obstacle toward an accepting gay ethic is created by the Church itself. Orthodox gays are institutionally precluded from living their sexual calling harmoniously because they can’t fully experience the redemptive character of the holy matrimony.

As for the story of the adulterous woman I find it a little bit ambiguous if applied to homosexuals. I actually used to refer to it in the past while I was struggling to accept myself fully as a gay. I used to root my reasoning in the words of Jesus to the woman so my conclusion was that God didn’t judge me for being gay, but He did tell me not to sin i.e. not to commit homosexual acts. That’s how I used to understand the passage. However this may represent the general reasoning of most orthodox believers on homosexuality, including the clergy. I’ve been open about my sexuality with my fathers of confession since always, and I have never come across harsh judging. They have all been compassionate and never treated me differently, but it was taken for granted that this kind of condition should not unfold or develop in a positive and affirming direction. It was and it still is taken for granted among the clergy that, while faithful homosexuals shouldn’t be judged, homosexual behavior shouldn’t be accepted as ethical either. This attitude is often seen as a sign of love and compassion of the Church, but actually, it’s as absurd and hateful as it gets. Following this analogy, it would mean that being human is ok, but acting like a human is not. Being capable of loving is kind of acceptable, but you should under no condition unleash the energy God has given you.

Even if Jesus’ compassion towards the woman can be a perfect example of how people should relate to homosexuals (stones may be a metaphor for words), at the same time there is no meaningful analogy between being a gay and being an adulterer. “Not sinning any more” for the woman would mean that she would stop being an adulteress, but it wouldn’t apply to me beacause I wouldn’t stop being gay. So I guess the discussion about an accepting christian gay ethics should revolve around the issue of marriage and why gay people are not allowed to participate in it. Everything in the end comes down to that.

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