Home Forums General Discussion Coming out Reply To: Coming out


Thank you James for your quick reply.
I asked this question because I’ve been trying to find the way out of the anonymity and the invisibility that have been surrounding my life for years now. In the last few months I started feeling like I have suddenly awoken and found myself in this situation that is the product of my biased theological views that kept me from living as a normal human being. Thank you for pointing out that there is the risk of following the trend or the “everyone is doing it so why can’t we” syndrome. That can be a subtle psychological trap and I most certainly am not immune to falling into it. However, I’m still wondering what the other options are. What are the cures for the self-imposed anonymity and over-cautiousness that by the way can ruin a person’s life if they become a predominant characteristic that pervades all the aspects of every-day life…
Sometimes I find myself desperately wanting to come out of the eggshell without breaking … the eggshell. And as I am saying it now, it occurs to me that this was the “technique” that Jesus once applied on the locked door, isn’t it? Maybe we are being wrongly told that “coming out” as gay is a necessary way of breaking free, but what we actually need to do, as Christians, is to “come in”, to “step into” our communities even if the doors are closed. I guess what I’m trying to do in my life is the latter. And maybe I, and all other LGBT Christians out there, have already done that. We have all entered the Church despite its doors being closed for us (isn’t that a miracle?). What we… I, need to do next is to speak up and say “It’s just me; do not be afraid of me”. Silence seems to be the last obstacle towards a full integration, and that’s why it is so frustrating to stay quiet. It is not just about our ego, or about a sentimental satisfaction that comes from telling our “secret” to other people.
I hope people who read this will forgive me for speaking in plural. This is just my immediate reflection and I don’t want to suggest what other people should do. However it looks like the situation we as gay Christians are in is universal no matter the society we live in or the level of homophobia we face in our Churches. Maybe if we found a stronger common voice, the voice of all orthodox gay Christians, maybe the burden of speaking up wouldn’t fall so hard on one individual’s shoulders. I am aware that there is no such voice at the moment so the only thing I, as a gay Christian, can now do is to confess my personal lack of courage to say out loud what needs to be said. So I ask for your prayers.

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