Home Forums General Discussion Am I making a mistake?

  • This topic has 7 replies, 1 voice, and was last updated 5 years ago by Isaac.
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  • #1657 Reply
    Isaac
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    The reason why I ask this is because I am now beginning to have doubts. Am I making a mistake in wanting to become Orthodox since most people in the church are homophobic? I know this is where God is calling me. I love this beautiful religion and not just because it’s pretty (incense, bells, candles, icons, pretty singing) but it’s beautiful because I can feel God’s loving presence. I am learning a lot from Jesus’ Gospels as well as seeing which areas in my life need change. I feel joy in repentance and praying to God and venerating his holy mother. I feel scared because I know a lot of Christians may not be so friendly if they find out who I truly am but at the same time, it’s none of their business as to whom I love. This was a fear and worry I had for quite some time. I will say that when I’m at church during liturgy, these fears go away.

    #1658 Reply
    Joe
    Guest

    No no no! I have the exact same fears, but I don’t think that seeking union with Christ is ever a mistake! I will give this some more thought, but please stay strong… Don’t take your eyes of the prize. 🙂

    #1659 Reply
    Isaac
    Guest

    Thank you so much for your encouraging words, Joe. They mean a lot.

    #1660 Reply
    James
    Guest

    Hi Isaac,

    I think your best guidance will come from prayer (followed by a period of listening with a calm mind for God’s response). If you feel led to join the Orthodox Church, then that is what is right for you. Don’t forget, by the way, that if you ever feel yourself uncomfortable in a congregation, you can always leave it and join another.

    I’ve had some pretty exasperating conversations and email exchanges with Christians, some Orthodox some not, who are doggedly opposed to homosexuality. Most bang on about certain Bible verses, canons and church tradition. Few who do so are willing to change their position one inch. But at the same time surprisingly few seem to be creating a religious smokescreen to justify their hatred of homosexuals rather than stating what for them are sincerely held beliefs. Unfortunately, many seem to think, most of them incorrectly, that they’re capable of loving the sinner but hating the sin.

    On the other hand, I’ve had many conversations and email exchanges with Christians, some Orthodox some not, who are very supportive of gay/lesbian people who make a sincere effort to follow Christ as best they can. I suspect that these people are often silent in their congregation — until someone needs their support.

    It’s always tempting to give in to the bullies standing in front of the church door trying to keep you out. But as someone once said (wink), ‘knock, and it shall be opened unto you’.

    #1661 Reply
    Joe
    Guest

    Well put James! John 16:33… I have to remind myself that at no time did He ever say, “follow me and your life will get easier”… He told us to expect (even welcome) hardship. Rejoice!

    I think I know what you mean about the “prettiness” of Orthodoxy; I love all that stuff too, but if all I wanted was a good show, I could easily find it elsewhere… I crave communion with Christ, nothing more or less, and i know that the Orthodox Church is the best way to find that. If, in the end, the Church won’t have us, we have to accept it… Remember, Moses was not granted permission to set foot in the promised land… Do we deserve to be accepted into the Church anymore than Moses deserved to have a nice condo with a jacuzzi in downtown Jericho?
    It doesn’t matter if the door isn’t opened right away… We just gotta keep on knockin’; bloody knuckles aren’t an excuse to quit.

    #1662 Reply
    Joe
    Guest

    And oh, James, please remember that not everyone has the option of picking and choosing which congregation to join; I don’t know where Issac lives, but for me there is only ONE (Greek) Orthodox church (and a very small, VERY conservative Serbian house-church) within traveling distance from where I live, so it’s not like I can just pick up sticks and walk down the street to a friendlier parish… And moving away to another place is not an option right now either. I think for people like me who don’t live in a major metropolis, it’s a “one chance” kind of a deal… I’m just saying… (I hope that didn’t come off as mean or angry; I have nothing but respect for you and your good words… Peace!)

    #1664 Reply
    Elena
    Guest

    Isaac, I understand your fear of joining the Church. I was baptized as a baby in the Orthodox Church and truly long to return after 30 some years. I sneak in to attend mass a few times a year. As a big old dyke, I don’t exactly fit into their idea of a good Orthodox woman. I love the Church so much, it brings me to tears to just be in the Church. But, I can’t bring myself to actually join a Church because I know I’d have to go to confession and it would be a lie if I could not tell the priest that I’m a married gay woman. That is married to another woman. I will probably never build up the courage to just do it and let what will be – be, after all what do I have to lose? Maybe, I’d no longer be able to sneak into Church a few times a year.

    #1666 Reply
    Isaac
    Guest

    Thank you all once again for your helpful advice. I really needed it 🙂 Joe, it’s hard for me to remember to rejoice at hardship but all I can do is remember the lessons and that is what makes it worth it!

    Elena, I am sorry to hear of your sadness. I once brought my friend to church because she wanted to see what an Orthodox church looks like and she was as you describe yourself. I don’t fit into their idea of a good Orthodox man but you know what? I dont care because I live my life and I dont let them tell me what to do. Please, don’t feel bad because God sees what is in your heart and I am sure he knows of your sincerity. If you are happy with your wife, that is what matters.

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