Home Forums General Discussion Patience in dealing with homophobic LGBT people?

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  • #1496 Reply
    Isaac
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    Recently, I read an article about some band member or whoever it was saying that he’s glad his dad didn’t raise him to be a fag despite him being gay. I have some gay friends who are sexist, transphobic, and hate gay guys with feminine personalities. It’s frustrating because I can’t turn to the Orthodox community for help due to their homophobia. I pray for patience and understanding and realize that I cannot control other people’s thoughts and hearts. I have transgender friends and feminine gay friends and I love them. I realized that the true way to live is openly and honestly, not having to hide who we are.

    What do you think?

    #1497 Reply
    Maria
    Guest

    I really don’t like it either. From my experience, misogyny seems to be quite common among gay men, and this is reflected in their attitudes towards women and feminine gay men. I think it’s very sad. I think for some people though, they want to see other people as “fags” or “trannies” (sorry for using these words) because it makes it easier to accept themselves. “At least I’m not like THAT.”
    My stepmother is a bit like that. When I was growing up, she always made me feel like I was fat, when I certainly wasn’t, because she felt insecure about her own body (and she wasn’t fat either). I think we need to feel sorry for these people and pray for them, and for ourselves.

    #1502 Reply
    Joe
    Guest

    When dealing with this sort of thing, I try to remind myself of two things:

    1. The fact that gay people are sometimes racist, sexist, or even homophobic is good evidence that being gay is neither a sin nor a virtue; that is, “gayness” has nothing to do whatsoever with “badness” or “goodness”, and,

    2. We are all sinners. Hate is a poisonous, destructive sin, and the only cure is love. (Not more hate!)

    So, I really don’t get any more offended by hateful gay people than I do by hateful straight people.

    PS I really dislike it when straight people tell me they “don’t usualy like gay people, but you’re OK”. (Because I am not really ‘flamey’)… Barf!

    #1504 Reply
    Joe
    Guest

    On the other hand, I don’t think there is anything wrong with disliking other people’s bad behavior. I admit that I find it difficult not to associate the idea of a ‘feminine man’ with gross behaviors such as shallowness/vanity, gossiping, self centeredness, etc. I have to constantly remind myself to look at a persons willful behaviors, not their inate mannerisms, when deciding if I want them around me or not.

    #1505 Reply
    Joe
    Guest

    Also, I don’t think you can raise a kid to be gay… You’d think that someone who was raised by a gay man would know that… I bet that band-guy’s dad didn’t much appreciate that comment.

    #1506 Reply
    Ron
    Guest

    I agree, Isaac. I find it ironic that those who often judge effeminite gay men and transgendered as abnormal and off-puttong are those who believe that courage and bravery are admirable, masculine traits, which are the very traits evidenced by transgendered men and women and effeminite gay men who are out.

    #1507 Reply
    Joe
    Guest

    That’s so true Ron… They (gays who look down on TGs and fem guys) are so blindly devoted to the false god of so-called masculinity that they end being shallow and ‘catty’ themselves! (Ooh, we don’t want that nasty queen in OUR Boy’s Club… he doesn’t have the same affectations that we do!) Lol, that’s kind of funny.
    I would certainly rather hang out with a femme guy being himself than a ‘closet-femme’ trying (and probably failing) to act all tough and butch all the time.

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