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  • This topic has 2 replies, 1 voice, and was last updated 6 years ago by joe.
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  • #1799 Reply

    Hi. I spent many years as a proselyte and a catechumen. I suffer from some disability issues. For several years I just quit out of frustration with my spiritual father because he refused to chrismate me. Finally, after I had entered in a relationship with a woman who was transsexual, I sought chrismation into the church. The law was eventually changed so we could get married, even though her paperwork is not 100 percent in order. For legal reasons we cannot get married- she is disabled and would lose her disability income. We are seeking legal help with this, perhaps there is a solution. I told my priest about my wife and I spent another year contemplating my options, attending Episcopal church services but being dissatisfied. Finally, I asked my priest if I could join the Church and he told me I was living in sin and could not be received . IT breaks my heart, I don’t know what to do.

    As far as I’m concerned we are married in the eyes of God. I am disappointed that my priest shamed me and my wife by equating us as “sinners” undeserving of God’s grace. What he did was wrong. I have thought about seeking out another Orthodox parish, one with a less harsh priest. But I don’t know if it would do any good.

    My wife really prefers a nearby Lutheran church, but, I am not Lutheran. I am Orthodox, even if the Church has not fully received me. Still, I accept the ministry of the pastor at the church receive communion and attend with my wife. I just wish the Orthodox Church had not rejected me, it hurts deeply. I have prayed to the Mother of God for help dealing with this.

    #1804 Reply

    Your pain and frustration come through, and I sympathize with your plight. It might help to look at your situation from a different angle: Perhaps the priest is actually doing you a favour by refusing you crismation in your current circumstances. When one formally joins a parish, one tacitly agrees to follow the guidance of its priest or be denied the Eucharist if not barred from attendance entirely.

    When someone accuses us of sin, as you feel your priest has done to you and your wife, it is easy to feel they view us as guilty of great evil. But if you remember that for the Church sin is simply a falling short of the ideal God has set, it may becomes easier to think of the priest’s comments not trying to shame you but as intended to guide you onto the path the Church has laid out for our salvation.

    In any event, until you are able to meet your Orthodox priest’s demands, I hope you are finding worship at a Lutheran church where both you and your wife are accepted both beneficial and worthwhile.

    #1885 Reply

    In my own personal experience, the Lutherans are pretty much the least objectionable of the Protestant churches… They seem to have a good way of being joyful in worship without completely losing the liturgy… As far as my own marriage goes, I sympathize with you, because I and my husband also must refuse the new USA legal marriage “opportunity” (who knows what might change in the next few years) because of his health issues/money issues… I am still able and willing to take comfort in Christ and His Mother… No Government or Church can take that from me.

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