Dear Chrysostomos,
The Patriarch of Moscow is simply wrong, just as he blessed troops to fight in Ukraine, against a sovereign country. He is wrong, it is not the first time. Let him check his Breguet Swiss watch to check the date. There is even a Wikipedia page devoted to his scandals, which I presume will be dismissed, in spite of the citations, by those skeptical of any negative reports about some of the bishops of the Orthodox Church. The Church has changed its mind about numerous things in the past, it will one day see the truth: God made people, some of them are gay, they are called to love and share their lives with a person of the same sex. As simple as that.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Controversies_of_Kirill_I_of_Moscow

“This is a very dangerous apocalyptic symptom, and we must do everything in our powers to ensure that sin is never sanctioned in Russia by state law, because that would mean that the nation has embarked on a path of self-destruction. We face enormous temptations when countries start approving sin and codifying it into law in order to justify it.”

The stand of the orthodox church of USA (patriarchate of Constanbtinople)

The Orthodox Church remains faithful to the biblical and traditional norms regarding premarital sexual relations between men and women. The only appropriate and morally fitting place for the exercise of sexual relations, according to the teachings of the Church, is marriage. The moral teaching of the Church on this matter has been unchanging since its foundation. In sum, the sanctity of marriage is the cornerstone of sexual morality. The whole range of sexual activity outside marriage – fornication, adultery and homosexuality – are thus seen as not fitting and appropriate to the Christian way of life.

Cade,

Christ is Risen!

You will remain in my prayers that Christ reveals to you His love and the path that you should take. I wish you all the best of everything. Please stay in touch and be well.

Andriy

I am 22 years old and am a Senior in Biblical & Theological Studies, hoping to spend some years at St. Vladimir’s Seminary in Patristics (Fr. John Behr, etc.) and Theology for my doctorate. I will graduate Spring 2016 and head straight there, being sent by my priest and the Diocese.

I am spending much time in prayer and many hours per week at my parish contemplating the Divine Mysteries. What a wonderful time! Even with a heavy load at university, I am at peace in contemplation.

Often, to he honest, I think of my friend who likes me. He and I spend more time together each week, and we are both in constant prayer and anticipation for the Lord to speak to us. I have already been convicted to cut off a friendship with someone I have known for a while, and the results have been burden-lifting.

Please pray for me, and thank you for having done so!

Death and Hades were vexed… embittered!
Embittered!
Christ is Risen from the dead
Trampling down death by death!
And upon those in the tombs
Bestowing life!

Cade

Dearest Cade,

Thank you for your email. I will try my best to help you, but ultimately the answer to your question resides in Christ, reveled through prayer. I think that you should not be ashamed of what God made. Your sexuality, just like the color of your eyes, your height and your cognitive abilities – are all gifts. The only question is what are called to do with them and what you do with them. Same-sex attraction, like heterosexuality, is part of Gods creation.

As you know, marriages, relationships are so much more than a sexual union or partnership. Ask any married couple, especially one married for more than a few years, and they will tell you what a small part of their relationship sex comprises. It is an important part, but not central. Much more important is respect, love, friendship a “helpmate”.

As someone who was ordained early in life, too early, I also thought that I could be celibate and alone. It is a very difficult, and almost perverse cross IF you are not called to celibacy.

You do not mention how old you are, and that at times is a factor. The younger we are, the more idealistic we are and do not have the spiritual tools necessary to lead a life of solitude. Having said that, those tools are developed when we are younger, but there are numerous stories in the lives of the saints, of those who only later in their life became godly.

Anything hidden, in my opinion, is dangerous. There is of course, a difference between shouting things from the rooftops, or the modern version of posting on Facebook and Twitter about your sexuality, and confiding in someone that you respect and can talk to. I would find someone who is not judgmental or biased towards gay people.

We have a tendency to believe that there is an order in which we are supposed to move on in our lives from step to step. High school, college, new job, marriage, first house, first child. Life does not always work out so well when we do that. Numerous people go back to school when they are old enough to appreciate the value of education. The Orthodox Church recognizes the need for second marriages…

So, take some time. Live with your thoughts and desires, not suppress them. Take the prophets and others as examples of those who wrestled. Confide in someone and take time. Your desire for the priesthood does not have to be pushed aside. There are numerous seminarians who graduate, want to be married, have not yet found the right spouse and delay ordination. Many earn extra degrees or get a job and only later are ordained. For many this gives them “life experience” that is invaluable. The main issue is the importance of staying close to our Lord and His Church.

I will pray for you on this journey. I think you are living what I lived decades ago. But of course, we are different people, with different paths, but I do know that God loves us both.
Please stay in touch. A blessed holy week and glorious Pascha!
Andriy

I am in need of your experiential wisdom. I am nearing my last year in undergraduate theological studies at a private college, and o am discerning a vocation in monasticism so that I might one day become a Hieromonk/celibate priest.

I desire to do this because I love our Eucharistic Lord, and I love His people. However, I have always seen a fault of mine my attraction to other men. I RARELY speak of it to anyone, and I have wrongly and sinfully acted out in the past (before I came to Orthodox Christianity). Praise to the Trinity and thanks to the Theotokos for showing me the light and getting me out of my “pagan days”.

Now, having been free from that life (death) for almost three years, I am well on my way to Christ and ever-thankful. However, I still feel ashamed that I am attracted to the same sex, because I fear that I will desire to end up in a relationship. I do not desire to commit any sexual sin, but I cannot keep forcing a lid on my sexual orientation+desires. There is one particular guy that likes me at my college and he hurts for me because of his similar situation. I feel frequently like apologizing for being reserved around him, although I shouldn’t have to be.

My question is: what do I do? Do I set aside my desire for the holy priesthood, or do I pursue God’s service? Do I speak openly about my orientation so I font suffocate? Do I keep it hidden in order to not sin?

Thank you, and I apologize for taking your time!

Cade

your compassionate comment is moving enough, but it contains a frequent error made by those who are unable and/or to walk in gay people’s shoes: you quickly assume that gay sexual orientation is a “passion” one must be healed from, if only with understanding and compassion by everyone in the Church. The truth is, sexual orientation, straight or gay, in and of itself is not a passion; were it so, then every heterosexual would be asked to give up on love and sexuality for life and no marriages would take place at all. The same holds for skin color: it has taken humanity centuries to come to the conclusion that non-whites are not an inferior race or inherently sinful. No one can seriously ask any person of color to repent for having been born, say, black. Sexual orientation is formed as early as conception, right along with every other human trait, and does not change, ever. Even if a gay person abstains from sexuality all his/her life, s/he will still die as a gay person. Gay people, like straights, can be promiscuous or monogamous, but that is a totally different matter. The Church is a hospital in the sense that in it we are asked to co-exist with those that are different from us and to meet them in the Eucharistic chalice as equals. “In my Father’s House there are many rooms,” said Jesus.

Isaac,
Thank you for your email and support of this website; your comments are of interest and comfort. I would of course agree with you that many of the small traditions and instructions which are argued over and followed above the first commandment to love God and the second to love others, are indeed frustrating.  I think that your comment about homophobic people in the church might be a bit harsh.  It is important to remember that people are influenced by their “teachers”, be it their parents, government, or the Church.  When hearing any message from the pulpit, many of the faithful take what the priest or bishop says to heart, as if it were Gospel. It is only when we, gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered Orthodox start to live openly and honestly that we can begin to change the minds and hearts of others.  We also have numerous allies, our straight family members and friends who should be encouraged to speak up for us.  In many places this is starting to happen.  We are people of hope.  Your inner voice, your conscience, from God, is telling you the right words.
I bid you peace,
Andriy