Burn! You Can’t Marry

December 17, 2023

Burn! You can’t marry.

Four Weddings and a Funeral is a British movie, released in 1994, about the romantic adventures of Charles, played by Hugh Grant, and his lively group of friends as they support each other through a series of life events. Perhaps one of the most touching and memorable scenes takes place at the funeral of one of the friends, Gareth. It is revealed at the service that Gareth was not only gay but in a relationship with another member of the circle of friends, Matthew. In his eulogy, Matthew said “Gareth used to prefer funerals to weddings. He said it was easier to get enthusiastic about a ceremony one had an outside chance of eventually being involved in.”[1] Not having words himself to speak about the love of his life, Matthew recites the very moving and touching poem Funeral Blues by W.H. Auden.[2] After listening to the eulogy, what friends quickly realize, to their surprise, is that Matthew and Gareth were for “all intents and purposes” a married couple. Unfortunately, they felt that they needed to keep it a secret, even from their friends. (more…)

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Be the Person You Needed When You Were Younger

Be the Person You Needed When You Were Younger

October 30, 2023

Watching a documentary recently about the detrimental and life-threatening struggles thousands of homeless children face, I was struck by the following words of one of the counselors: “Be the person you needed when you were younger.” The often-quoted words are believed to originate from Ayesha Siddiqi, an author and children’s advocate. The counselor made this impassioned plea to those who might be able to support the admirable work of helping homeless children. Those of us fortunate enough to live in relative peace and prosperity rarely think, for very long, about those considerably less fortunate than us. Understandably, we get caught up in our own world and may only take a few moments to think about or help those less privileged and in need. To be sure, those needing everything from a warm smile, a compassionate ear to a good meal, are all around us if we just took the time to look and think and act. When we act, listen or think only a portion of the time about others, we are not being the person that others need. (more…)

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A Gay Man’s Dormition Story

Through the generosity of the editors of “Orthodoxy in Dialogue,” we are pleased to re-post a wonderfully sincere and poignant piece entitled “A Gay’s Man Dormition Story”, published on their website on August 15, 2023, by an anonymous source. Please read the full article by following the link to “Orthodoxy in Dialogue” below, following the first paragraph of the work.

The lenten period for the feast of the Dormition of the Theotokos was always somewhat unwelcome to me. As a child, it meant the winding down of summer and the return to school which I so hated. As an adult and a teacher, those emotions did not change all that much. This was a time to treasure those precious remaining days of summer. Somehow, eating just the salad at a barbeque or going to church every night for Paraclesis felt like a letdown, or maybe something to blame for all the unfulfilled expectations I had hoped for during the summer break. It wasn’t until much later in life that I was able to appreciate the blessings that this holy time offered.



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God Doesn’t Know?

God Doesn’t Know

May 31, 2023

“Torch Song Trilogy,” written by Harvey Firestein in the 1970s, is a collection of three one-act plays in which the main character, Arnold Beckoff, wrestles with how to live his life, as a gay man, in a post-Stonewall New York City. Central to the plot of the story, later turned into a movie, are Arnold’s relationships with boyfriends, co-workers, his adopted son, and his mother. Arnold’s mother has a difficult time accepting her son’s homosexuality, and questions why he can’t just settle down and marry a “nice Jewish girl”. Arnold is frequently agitated and unhappy with his mother’s refusal to believe that he was “made this way”, in other words, made gay, by God. In one very funny scene, Mrs. Beckoff, “Ma”, in exasperation that her son thinks he knows more about his life than she does, states, “God, doesn’t know, my son knows.” (more…)

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