It’s tough to be Orthodox sometimes…
April 23, 2025
During Bright Week of this year (2025), Patriarch Porfirije of Serbia visited Moscow and met with Patriarch Kirill as well as Vladimir Putin. While such fraternal visits can be immensely important between hierarchs, they do tend to become delicate when a patriarch meets a head of state. I was quite shocked when Patriarch Porfirije praised “the Russian President, saying that Putin defends, protects and promotes Christian values.” (reference website links below)
What? When did starting a war, killing innocent people, including children, bombing churches, hospitals, schools, and homes become a Christian value? I understand the historical ties between Russia and Serbia, but do the recent and current practices of President Putin reflect or promote Christian values?
Please read the words of Patriarch Porfirije again: “Putin defends, protects and promotes Christian values.”
I will never understand how Orthodox hierarchs continue to commemorate, stand by, and even support the Russian Orthodox Patriarch and his open promotion and support of the war in Ukraine.
It’s tough to be Orthodox sometimes…
Hi, I’m sorry it took me so long to reply, I’ve had a lot on my plate. Hopefully, by the end of this month, I’ll finally be able to take a break.
After reading your comment, I felt like a small part of my heart was healed. I used to think the only way forward was to stay closeted for the rest of my life, but your story gave me hope, that someday things will get better. That one day, I’ll be able to go to church like everyone else and still live my truth. Once again, I just want to say thank you for sharing your story.
I still have many questions about your situation, if you don’t mind me asking. How did the people in your parish react when they found out? Or maybe they never found out, and never will? How did your parents or family react? (Only if you’re comfortable answering, I understand it’s a very personal question) I guess what I’m really wondering is: how did the people around you react? I’ve always been curious.
I know there are a few celebrities out there who are both Orthodox and gay. Sometimes I look at them with a kind of awe, wondering: how? It feels so impossible for me, especially living in a homophobic country where Orthodoxy is a minority. People here all know each other, so it feels even more suffocating. Some mornings I wake up thinking, “Wouldn’t life be so much less depressing if I were straight?” It’s becoming a daily thought.
And one last question (sorry I keep asking, I’m just so curious, but also happy I finally stumbled upon this website), how did you find your spiritual father, someone who truly understood your situation, and whose love helped you become the person you are today?
That’s all I can think of for now. I hope you’ve had (or are having) a nice Sunday.
God bless.
Thank you, Jordan, for your reply. Remember that you can always go to church, as God will receive you in His loving arms, as we read constantly in Scripture. Our fear holds us back, I understand; however, our faith, which is strengthened by prayer, is the bridge to conquering that fear. Because you have asked some personal questions, which I do not mind answering, I will do so in an email to you.
I bid you peace,
andriy
I have a question—what is life like for you as a gay, married man and an Orthodox Christian? Do you attend the liturgy and especially still receive Communion?
I believe the Church is true and can’t bear the thought of leaving her, especially since I found her when I was at my lowest and fought almost everyone to be part of her. But the idea of never being able to love and to be condemned for loving is slowly breaking me. Sometimes I think I should either marry a woman or live in celibacy, but if I chose to marry I’m worried that it would hurt both of us: she would be hurt by my lies, and I would be hurting God’s name and myself by living a lie too. I’m currently dating a boy, and I’ve been having this conflict over a year now, What do you think I should do?
Hello, and thank you for your inquiry.
I do attend Liturgy and receive the mysteries. Recently, my spiritual father passed away, and so, I will be searching for another one, which could prove difficult. I do have the sincere view, after continuously searching my conscience, that being gay is not a sin, as God created me this way. I also sincerely believe that He brought my husband and me together and has blessed us for over twenty years. I do not confess this any more than I would confess to having blue eyes or feeding myself.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and concerns with me. I appreciate your honesty. I would strongly suggest that if you identify as gay, you do not marry someone of the opposite gender. I tried for two years, praying, visiting monasteries, and talking to numerous priests about my desire to no longer be attracted to men. God said no. And when I turned to Him with my constant loneliness and desire for a companion, He sent my husband to me. I was pre-engaged to a woman, and I thank God and my guardian angel for telling me not to ruin her life or mine. I am grateful to this day, decades later.
Dating is how we meet people and decide to spend our lives with someone as a helper and a mate. As with any choice, our actions have consequences and determine responsibilities. Just as we can eat the wrong thing or overeat, we can abuse our relationships if they are not God-centered.
Please talk to God, listen to His voice. It is through prayer, honesty, and humility that He blesses our lives and directs our steps.
Please stay in touch,
andriy